Mr Graham
Having invested the Diggers surplus funds into lastminute.con, Mr. Graham now advises us that wherever the tour is going this year, we're getting the bus. Indeed, having booked the tour on said site, we may not be going anywhere at all and instead, may be reduced to playing on his computer which at least gives him a chance of winning and, if nothing else, allows him to play his usual, everyday style - virtual golf. With Mr. Bell providing virtual cash and returning the virtual trophy, the tour looks in jeopardy.
Now without the sponsorship of Guinness, Mr. Graham is looking for another high-calorie subsidy and is currently in discussion with a consortium of lard manufacturers, though doubts remain about their ability to deliver the volumes required.
He will also be providing the scoring equipment (steady) for the trip and with his wealth of knowledge and experience on the internet, has purchased a fully featured, state-of-the-art, millennium proof, £59.99 bargain - an abacus. Given that it only counts up to 99 he will doubtless benefit from it most in the form of 'lost' shots. For those of you wishing to phone home, he has also acquired a top-of-the-range, duplex, mobile, data-enabled communications system from www.theresoneborneveryminute.com - the baked bean tins are fine but he's having trouble sourcing 800 miles of RJ45, twisted pair, inter-continental cable (string).
Some late news just in - Mr. Graham has finally secured a sponsorship deal from Mattel - makers of Space Hoppers ?
