Mr Dickson
Moving in finance and dealing in futures, Mr. Dickson has finally passed his first professional exam (BA Business Studies doesn't count, as a £200 bung beats a 2/2).
The business of share dealing is particularly ruthless, as anyone who saw 'Wall Street' will testify, but the examiner - having rejected an index-adjusted �300 bung - was particularly impressed with the capitalist slant to some of his answers, for example :
Q : If I have 10 apples and give them to you to invest, how many apples will I have in 5 years, given a current base interest rate of 6.00 % ?
A : After commission, management charges, tax, bid-offer spread and special, client advice deductions ? - none. Now give me the apples and ****-off.
Having given up the Ministry and rejected Cod, his present lifestyle reflects the TechMark Index - going through ups and downs. His most recent investment was in the Dot Com fad though Dot, the office junior, denies anything took place. He also seems to be a fan of the Drinks and Entertainment sectors and has piled huge amounts of cash into these areas with, as yet, little return to show for it. As a result, shares in pharmaceuticals have soared.
Working for the high profile firm of stockbrokers, Messrs. Buy, Low, Sell, High
(www.showmethemoney.con), his access to future tips is second rate
to none. With typical broker-speak, Mr. Dickson confidently predicts that this years championship
will be won by a Digger, that the margin of victory will be one shot (or more) and the
venue will definitely be a golf course. He also predicts the value of the
Diggers
fund will be inversely proportional to beer consumption and diminishing marginal
beer utility will apply in the bar area after 2 a.m. (the classic, economic, Piss-Head
Theory)
These views are not necessarily the views of Diggers Inc.
