Mr. Bell
News from the grapevine is that Mr. Bell has been keeping fit for the Tour by playing touch rugby, though many believe the emphasis is not on the rugby, more on the touch (isn't that American slang for ...) given that it is a mixed team. Interestingly, there are a number of interpretations for this word and I quote from Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus : touch Sl. a. the act of asking for money, often by devious means.....
Recently re-united with his license and back with his open top (his car, not his hair), things just keep going from strength to strength for our newly installed Champion and all that stamina training has paid dividends - he's easily the last one out of Noa's.
To reduce costs this year, Mr. Bell has admirably volunteered to give up his bed for the second year in succession. He seems unable to find his own room anyway, although this could lead to an interesting situation at closing time in the bar, with Mr. Bell's mind working overtime ...
Give her one ?
Yes No
(Bed) (No bed)
Having observed the Tall Ships Challenge first hand, Mr. Bell was so taken with the seafaring traditions (?) that he has taken to new extremes, the Tall Tales Challenge, telling yarns of how, having won the Diggers at his 1st attempt, playing left handed and with only two clubs, he laid waste to a select field of hand-picket professionals, jogged back from Leeds (beating both cars by miles) stopping only to break the course record at the Roxburghe, before boffing the bar staff and heading home in time for tea and toast - a worthy champion indeed. His propensity for spin can only be bettered by Shane Warne ..... or any MSP.
