1999 Preamble
Well chaps, it's nearly upon us again.
Yup, it seems like only a year ago that we all gathered in the windy city to indulge in a jamboree of golf, drink, Oriental cuisine and foam.
This year the convention moves south to the green and rolling plains of Yorkshire and to Alwoodley Golf Club.
Relax in the idyllic surroundings of one Europe's most challenging venues : indulge yourself in the club's many facilities and get rat-faced to boot.
Part of the Malmaison empire, your hotel is a converted 19th century ferret-worrying warehouse and is a Mecca for tired business execs, media starlets and golfers alike.
Facilities include rooms, more rooms, a bar, bar bistro, strip joint, brothel (OK, the last one was a lie), restaurant / bar and city annex.
Hear the local wildlife sing as they stagger home in the early morning sunrise.
Dive into the Olympic size bar for some badinage and banter and revel in the inane drivel that ensues therein.
All this for only £250 per person per night ( cheques payable to Diggers Benevolent Fund, Chancing It Division ) and experience the Tour of a lunchtime courtesy of Scottish Beers International, a Toptastic Tour company.
Collar and lie required for dinner. No pet hates. The Management reserve the right to refuse ammunition. The value of handicaps can go down as well as up. Gratuitous nonsense at the discretion of the Tour Committee. Diggers Inc. is a registered drainmark. All rights reserved. Diggers Drivel (Publishers), Cayman Islands. Pictures courtesy of Sony and alcohol. "The Digger Who Shagged Me" is showing to a limited audience (it's patently not true). "Diggers Wars" is a LucasFilms production. May the farce be with you
Enough with the films, already (Ed.)
