The Machrie
Port Ellen
Isle of Islay
PA42 7AN
Machrie - a true translation from the original Gaelic is
"Godforsaken barren wilderness" somewhat summing up the course.
Rundown hotel is a pre-cursor to similarly unkempt course. Blind
approaches abound and the Machrie is best viewed from behind a
blindfold. The air is alive with calls of 'For *#%! sake - where's
the hole ?'. The warmth of the welcome is overwhelming, as is the
amount of food. They breed them hearty and hungry in these parts.
Car hire is disarmingly easy - "Is that your car ? Can I hire it ?
£50 for the week ? Done." goes the script. But you won't really need
a car when the taxi Transit van is almost 24 hour.
Seafood is the staple.
The 18 holes are a tortuous affair and feel far longer than the yardage chart suggests. The machair (jungle of grass) protects this links course with a demonic vengeance. Only the straightest hitters will survive the golf, and only survival experts will survive the Arctic conditions. The golf experience may be interspersed with scenes form Wuthering Heights and communication can be on the athletic side but rest assured the whisky will flow in great volumes (pneumonia or not) and the scenery is breath-taking (literally).
A word of warning to those arriving by plane :
- your host may overdo the welcome
- Prince Charles' plane ran out of runway here
- breathalyse the pilot in Glasgow - he'll need all his faculties to get the thing down again here
