Alwoodley GC
The Alwoodley Golf Club
Wigton LaneLeeds
LS17 8SA
Tel: 0113 268 1680
www.alwoodley.co.uk
Set in the secluded and sophisticated suburbs of Leeds (oxymoron ?), this colonial, ex-services, gentleman's retirement club is unlikely to qualify for Lottery funding - though judging by the pristine condition of the clubhouse, it's unlikely that cash is a problem here. Apparently, due to the lucrative sale of some land, the 200 odd souls of this club are now financially secure and scarcely need to swell their numbers - hence membership is by invitation only (could the intrusive aroma in said building be the millions of pound notes decaying away in the vaults ?)
Which is fantastic if you actually want to play golf : the smallest of showers sees the hardened locals scurrying for the bar, leaving one with exclusive use of the demanding 6,500 yards. As the 6th most difficult course in Britain, this is no walk in the park (well, it is actually) but the fairways are generous of girth and with such low usage, the greens are unlikely to suffer from spiking. Fortunately, in our time there we were spared some of the more penal dress codes - the rules having recently been relaxed - thus allowing one to play without the once obligatory tuxedo and cummerbund (though golfing without the services of a bat-man is frowned upon). Ladies must also be accompanied by a chaperone at all times and are actively encouraged to restrict their tee-off times to the second Tuesday of every month, between the hours of 8.00 and 8.12 p.m.
The defence of the course is left to wide swathes of heather which "must be avoided at all cost" as it is not the lucky white variety, the judicious placement of fine, silicone based compounds, the tactical intrusion of significant deciduous and perennial vegetation and the strategic use of fluid dynamics (think calm thoughts at this point, Mr. Ham). The seamless combination of these elements, contrive to provide a thought provoking, yet harmonious golfing experience.
Unfortunately, if you play like a Muppet its subtle charm may be lost on you.
